Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Ex Closet Case

I have heard it said that the only thing more annoying than a smoker is an ex-smoker.  There are some people who are anti smoking advocates, but the ex-smoker is the most committed.  The most militant.  The one most interested in curing your smoking habit.

Ex smokers are everywhere you are trying to smoke.  Giving you the look.  Wagging their fingers and their tongues.  Tell you about the dangers of smoking.  Tell you how they if they can quit anyone can quit.  They  tell you how much better they feel.  How much money they are saving. 

On and on they go.  They never stop. Even if they do not say it, they make you feel like you are bad person because you still enjoy your smoke.

I do not smoke cigarettes, but I do enjoy a nice cigar out on my back porch in the evening once in a while.

I have been reading over at "If I Do the Right Thing" and he has posted a couple times about gay married men who do not want to come out.   I have written about this in the past and it is clear that I have strong feelings about it.

If a man is having sex with anyone that is not his wife and she does not know about it, he is cheating and that is wrong.  It is not wrong because I say so, it is wrong because the wife will think so when she find out.  It does not matter if the person he is cheating with is a man or a woman.  If the wife thinks it's cheating then it's cheating.

I have written about the plight of the straight spouse before and I am not not going to re-hash that today.  (Here is one)

I left a fairly harsh comment on "Two Lives" post from yesterday.  After I thought about it a little, I was starting to feel like an ex-smoker.  I am not one to tell others how to live their lives, but I have to admit that I am often too free with my opinions.

Now that I am starting to experience some of the up side of being out of the closet, and I see even better days ahead, I think everyone should.  I know what works for me may not work for everyone, but I still have my opinions.


TwoLives said...

I thought your comment was terrific. It's so easy to talk about ourselves and our sad plights. No one really talks about the spouse. I think you make very valid points and I'm glad that you post them here and that you commented on my post.

Java said...

It's good to hear this from you. That's the way I've always understood it, but I am not a gay man in a straight relationship. I sorrow for those who feel they must play a part of their lives in secret. Yes, everyone makes his/her own decisions about how to live, but I believe they should be able to live honestly about who they are.

I'm really glad you have opened up that part of yourself.

Bear Me Out said...

It is sometimes difficult not to take our personal situations and generalize them for others.

My coming to some clarity about "what" and "how" for myself was a long journey. I did not need the advice of others; I needed them to be with me.