My last post got a lot of attention and a lot of comments that I believe were well intentioned.
I have some additional thoughts:
1. From the very first time I met him, T explained his family situation. He has been upfront and consistent though our entire relationship. There was nothing new in my post from yesterday, expect my growing frustration with my situation (not his).
2. For most of our relationship, especially early on, it was me that had limited time to be with him. The complication on my time was my wife and, to a lesser extent, my kids. Today his work is the major consumer of his time. The point is, that he did not complain too much even when it could be a month of more between times when I would see him.
3. While I have always known about his family situation, it does not mean I agree with it. I have specific thought about it that I have shared with T. I am not going to get it to that here. It is his personal situation and I am not going to get into it any further than I already have. I will probably not mention it again here.
4. I want to be with T more than anything. I really do. But it is not as simple as that. If T asked me to move into his house with him tomorrow, would I go? I would like to say 100% yes. I could be pack by the end of the day. But is that the reality? Maybe not. I have my kids to think about. T lived a hour away and I as much as I love him, it would not be easy to be that far from my kids. It would not be easy at all.
5. I do not know what the future holds for T and I. T and I do not have a typical relationship, even among gay people. Even if we lived together tomorrow, I know that we might only see each other at night just before bed. (I for one would be OK with that).
6. Will the day come at some day when I will have to stay good bye to T and look for someone else? I suppose it could happen at some point, but I am no where near ready for that. I am deeply on love with T and I do not see that on the horizon. I will not consider that until I am sure that there is nothing else to be done and we are really at some sort of a stale-mate. But we are not there. There is much that can be done and is being done to move things forward. I think there had been a lot of movement in his family in even the past couple of months.
At the end of the day, will his family accept me living there with him. I don't know, but we are working on it. I believe in my heart, we will get there, sooner or later.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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