In ten days my divorce will be final. K has opened a bank account in her name alone and she is asking me about taking her name of the 2 joint accounts we have. It turns out it is a lot easier to close those accounts rather than change them. K think she wishes there was an easy way for me to take her name off the house too.
Again, another indication of the change that is ongoing.
Here is another thing. Tomorrow we have an appointment at church to get our picture taken for the church directory. Actually we have 2 appointments. One for her and the kids to be listed at her address and another one for me at my address. I am not really thrilled about that, me being in the directory all by myself with K surrounded by the kids. Sigh. I guess it was inevitable, after all, I am single now, right?
I am living my life one day at a time right now. I have hear some people say that is a good thing to do. I don't think so. I think you have to have a vision for the future. You have to know where you are going or there is really no point in getting out of bed in the morning. Right now, I have no clear destination. I don't know if I will have a job or if I am going back to school. I don't know if I will keep my house and live alone or with a roommate. I am not even sure that I will keep my house at all. Even if I get a job and can afford the house, do I really need a 4 bedroom house for just me?
Living one day a time is really taking a toll on me. I am trying to stay positive most of the time, but it's harder and harder all the time.
On another note, I have heard from several readers recently, both in comments and through direct e-mail that they have found this blog to be helpful for them. The example of K and I has given them hope that they can have a positive relationship once the stress of coming out is past. I makes me feel good that people that I can be helpful. Other blogs were so helpful for me when I was in the "dark days". I am glad for the chance to pay it forward.