When I started writing this blog I put a site meter on it so I could have an idea of how many people visit. These days I get between 250 and 350 hits a week. About 50 of those hits are me. Probably another 50 are T, my mom and sister. The rest are others who take some interest in my story.
There are a few who regularly comment on my posts. I won't lie, I really enjoy that. Every once in a while I will get a personal email. Once or twice they have criticized me in unkind or unproductive ways. Generally, however, e-mailers tell me that my story has in some way inspired them. Some have been inspired to start their own blogs. Others are impressed in with way K and I have resolved to end our marriage, yet retain our friendship.
With only a few exceptions, I exchange a couple of e-mails and then the communication stops. But there are a few special and rare cases where I get to have a prolonged dialog with someone who "gets" me. Someone who I "get" too. We can relate to each others situation and strangers become friends. While I did not set out to create these types of friendships, I am grateful when they happen.
I am happy some people read my story, but it's not why I write. It started as a way to workout my conflicting emotions as I came to terms with being gay. There is still much of that journey ahead of me. There are lots of loose ends in my head. As I come across these ends I try to tie them up (with varying degrees of success). I have found it is the writing that helps me know what kind of knot to tie. Putting the words down on "paper" helps me gain perspective. Sometimes things that seemed like a big deal at first, don't seem as important when I try to explain them here. Or the opposite it true.
It is the one place I can really be me and say exactly what is on my mind. I don't care if others approve of what I have to say or not. It is just for me anyway.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
Most of the images used in my blog I found floating around the Internet. I believe, in good faith, that they are either public domain, or my non-commercial use falls under fair use guidelines. If, however, you are the are the copyright owner of any image and wish me to remove it, please contact me and I will do so as quickly as possible