Thursday, March 4, 2010

I'm Feeling OK for a Change

Lately  I have been feeling pretty good.  I do not have that depressed feeling I have had for a long time, even thought things are in flux a lot more than I would like.

T and I are working through the awkward transition from boyfriends to just friends.  He is trying hard to be supportive and is encouraging me to get out an meet people.  He thinks I should be more aggressive than I have been and reach out to more people.

K is doing OK with me, but I think she is really wishing that we had the farm she really wants.  I think she is ready for me to move out, but she also knows that if I have to spend money on rent, then there will be no more money to save for the house on the farm she wanted.  When I offer to resume looking for a place to go, she laments that it's a lot of money to piss away on rent when I will probably spend much of my time at the house here with the kids.

In the meantime, I am am exploring possibilities.  I am assessing the things I want in life and the things I can work around.

I had an e-mail exchange with the Pastor of K's church.  I told him among other things, that I was worried about the reactions of the church people not towards me, but towards K and the kids because of me.  I also told him that I was convinced the God created me the way I am and love me as I am.  I was surprised when he confirmed that he also believed that God created gay people, gay.  It was refreshing and maybe I have to consider that not a religious people hate gay people.

I meet with him in about 3 weeks and I am actually looking forward to it.  I'll keep you posted.

1 comment:

Chris said...

Sadly, you probably already know how this goes. Unfortunately there never is a right time.

Religious groups play to their members, I would expect your wife to develop a whole enlightened view of the church, not based upon how she is treated, but on how you are.