I went to see "Hank" this afternoon and we talked his obsession with "Steve". He was bubbling over with excitement. Apparently, over the past 2 days they had spent something like 5 or 6 hours either on the phone or on Yahoo Messenger talking. That's saying something. I have known Hank for more than 2 decades and he does not even talk to me that much.
"Steve is exactly the type of man I am looking for."
"Steve 'gets me' like no one else, and he says I get him too"
"Steve wants a man to love him and he wants to be loved in return."
"Steve likes so many of the same things I like. Sometimes it feels like we have been boing things together for a long time."
"Steve makes me feel special and says I make him feel special too."
"Steve and I talk for hours at a time. We talk about all kinds of things. No matter how long we talk, I always feel like there is more to say when it is time to hang up."
And he went on like this for a while, maybe the better part of an hour. I was starting the see that maybe his obsession was not an obsession at all. He was actually falling in love with Steve. He was happy in a way that I had not seen him in a long time. I could see it in his eyes.
I made the decision to be supportive in this. I did tell him I thought he should be cautious and remember that there are missing pieces that you don't see until you meet someone in person. But I also told him that I think he should pursue this relationship with the hope they will find a way to make it work.
I think he was pleased that I was supportive. I told him with all the loneliness in the world, if he has a chance to find the man of his dreams, I am not going to stand in his way of discourage him.