So the hope of remaining friends with T is pretty much gone.
We actually went out last Friday night. I picked him up at his office, we had dinner at a new restaurant and then I brought him home. It was a nice visit and when it was over I thought we were going to be OK.
I was wrong.
I told T about the Internet Guy I have been talking to (I'm going to have to give him a name) and he jumped to the conclusion that I am in love with Internet Guy and he is the one to be my partner.
I did tell him I was interested in getting to know Internet Guy better, but I was a long way from in love with a man I have never met. T did not believe me. Told me I was not being honest.
By the time dinner was over we agreed (I thought) we were both OK. He needed to find the man that is right for him and I need to find a man that will eventually be my partner. It was probably for the best that we broke up since what we each wanted from a partner was really incompatible. Finally we agreed we would work to remain friends, knowing there might be some hard feelings on his part from time to time.
Last night I was online and I saw T was online so I opened a chat window to said hi. That is where the trouble started.
It turns out that he was not OK. I was very angry with me. He feels I kept him around (for what reason I'm not sure) and now that K and I are doing better and I have found the love of my life, I just dumped him. (Remember he thinks that Internet Guy and me are going to move in together tomorrow or at least next week.)
That is not really the way it happened.
As I posted a while back, he was the one that dumped me. When we came to the impasse that I wanted a partner (that lived with me) and he wants a boyfriend that he could go out with on weekends. I told him then that we could go on the way we are for now, but ultimately I would not be happy growing old alone, with the man I love living elsewhere. He decided that since I would eventually dump him anyway, that we would just stop being boyfriends and just be friends.
Last night, he feels that is a betrayal. He is angry and says he just wants to move on.
I asked if he wanted me to leave him alone for a while. He said yes. Then I got the text message. "Good-bye jim" That is something he has never told me before.
I hope his good-bye is not forever, but I fear it might be. I really value his friendship. There is always going to be a place in my heart for him, whether he wants me to be my friend or not.
This is one thing I could not fix and he walked away.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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