Monday, March 29, 2010

Are You Happier Than Me?

I did it.  I booked a flight to Internet City.  It is even non-refundable.

"If you are planning a trip to Internet City, you must be pretty happy." K told me after reminding me that I am not supposed to be happier sooner than her.

I told her I was not there yet, but I was moving in that direction, with good progress being made.  I admitted my strong feelings for IG, but I will not know for sure if it is fantasy or real until we meet.  Until he holds me in his arms.  Until we get ...  um... sorry ...  I got ahead of myself again.

It is true, I am happier than I have been in a long time, but there is still a ways to go.  There are all kinds of things left to do. 

For example, I need to come out to the kids. That has it's own separate worries, but I am not thinking about that too much now.  I also have to resolve the question of where we all are going to live.  Do K and I try to live together with the kids for now?  That might work for a little while, but it is not sustainable over time.  Any man she will find, probably won't like me there all the time.  And I want to live with my partner, and I doubt Internet Guy or anyone else would want to move in with K and I.  (For the record I would be OK with that, but I doubt he would be, and I am not sure K would really be OK with it.)

I don't want to get ahead of myself too much.  I am still enjoying my new found direction.  I think I am going to focus on my trip to meet IG and see how that goes.  If it goes the way I want, I will have start making adjustments to my life so that when he is ready to move here, I am ready for him.


Anonymous said...

Congratulations on making that big step... and for holding yourself in check as you do so... I am sure that the moment will have its charm, and probably IG is really hot...but separating the fantasy from reality is what this is about; go, hold your expectations lightly and allow God to make happen what should happen... I am rooting for you (really)

manxxman said...

.......when he is ready to move here.....huh, when did this get discussed. Have I missed something?

jim said...

I don't tell you people everything. :-)