"If you are planning a trip to Internet City, you must be pretty happy." K told me after reminding me that I am not supposed to be happier sooner than her.
I told her I was not there yet, but I was moving in that direction, with good progress being made. I admitted my strong feelings for IG, but I will not know for sure if it is fantasy or real until we meet. Until he holds me in his arms. Until we get ... um... sorry ... I got ahead of myself again.
It is true, I am happier than I have been in a long time, but there is still a ways to go. There are all kinds of things left to do.
For example, I need to come out to the kids. That has it's own separate worries, but I am not thinking about that too much now. I also have to resolve the question of where we all are going to live. Do K and I try to live together with the kids for now? That might work for a little while, but it is not sustainable over time. Any man she will find, probably won't like me there all the time. And I want to live with my partner, and I doubt Internet Guy or anyone else would want to move in with K and I. (For the record I would be OK with that, but I doubt he would be, and I am not sure K would really be OK with it.)
I don't want to get ahead of myself too much. I am still enjoying my new found direction. I think I am going to focus on my trip to meet IG and see how that goes. If it goes the way I want, I will have start making adjustments to my life so that when he is ready to move here, I am ready for him.
3 comments:
Congratulations on making that big step... and for holding yourself in check as you do so... I am sure that the moment will have its charm, and probably IG is really hot...but separating the fantasy from reality is what this is about; go, hold your expectations lightly and allow God to make happen what should happen... I am rooting for you (really)
Jim
.......when he is ready to move here.....huh, when did this get discussed. Have I missed something?
I don't tell you people everything. :-)
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