Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Working Toward "Normal"

I have been very busy with work this week.  I was taking a class all day on Monday and Tuesday, and while I was gone, the work piled up on my desk.  I'm don't know why the elves did not do my work, but they didn't.  Grrr.

Things in my life are moving and stable at the same time.

K is unhappy with her life, but I think that she is past the point where she is angry.  There is a man she is interested. She coaches a sports team for 14 year old girls.  This man is the father of one of the girls.  She has known him casually for a couple of years.  His wife died more than a year ago after a long illness.

Anyway, she likes him and he is showing signs that he likes her too.  K told him about me being gay and our current situation, and it has not seemed to bother him.  Even better: his daughter, K's player, loves K and has been treating K as a mother figure for a while now. (That sometimes happens with girls and their coaches.) If nothing else K has made a new friend.  If things work out, maybe, just maybe, she can begin a new life with New Guy.

It will be difficult for me to see her go.  As she gets closer to a romantic love interest my importance in her life will diminish.  This is as it should be, but it will be difficult for me just the same. I know we will remain best friends and close.

I have not talked to Internet Guy as much this week as I would like.  A few short conversations, text messages and one short IM chat.   I have been swamped lately and his usual schedule has been disrupted this week too.  Nothing new to report on that front.  I am still interested and am thinking about taking a trip in May to visit him in Internet City.  

I have never done anything like that before.  The idea of getting on a plane and flying to a place to meet someone I have never met is contrary to my personality.  In fact, me getting a plane solely to pay a social call on anyone, even an old friend, is not something I would usually do.

I currently live about 800 miles from where I grew up and my parents and sister still live.  My oldest friend, lives kind of near me (about 200 miles).  He has been there for several years, but I have only driven to visit him once in all that time, and that was after being invited to a special occasion.  I just am not the type to pick up and go.  Anyway, IG may be causing me to step WAY outside my comfort zone.  Now I have to decide if that is a good thing.  I think it probably is.  Hanging around in my comfort zone is how I got stuck in the first place.

It seems that T and I are on an even keel.  We still have not spoken and as he has requested, I am giving him the space he needs and wants.  It does not appear there will be any lasting damage because of our blog spat.   T is not a fan of technology (he as no facebook page for example).  It's not that he can't do it, it just does not hold his interest.  It appears, however, he like blogging.  He has posted several new items.  I have been reading them and like what he is writing.  Even though we are not talking now, it helps me feel connected to him.  In case you are wondering I did send him an e-mail asking if he was OK with me reading his blog.  He said it was fine and I also invited him back here anytime we wants to check up on me.  :-)

In 2 weeks I am expecting my parents to visit.  I say "expected" because my dad has been suffering from several illnesses, but for the time being is stable and appears to be staying that way.  We are praying he will continue to be well enough to travel.  He went to a pile of doctors and so far they have all said he should be good to go.

They know I am gay and they are very supportive.  I don't know if they know about my break up with T.  My mom sometimes reads the blog, but she has not mentioned it, so maybe she does not know.  I have also not talked to them about IM.  Partly because I think they would caution me against getting too wrapped up in a man I have never actually met in person.

Anyway, the kids are delighted that their grandparents will be here the same week they are off from school on spring break.  We are trying to thing so fun activities we can all do while they are here. 

So I am working toward normalcy.  What ever that means.

1 comment:

TwoLives said...

My perception is that this is one the most positive posts you have made in quite a long time. Certainly you are not at the place you hope to be some day but you are making significant, visible progress. So pat yourself on the back!