Thursday, July 28, 2011

I Am Churched Out

All this week I have been helping K with Vacation Bible School at the church where she works.  I was able to slip away on Tuesday to visit T, but that was my only night off.  The rest of the time have either been at work, or sleeping.

Tonight was the last night and I am all churched out.

Generally the church people know that K and I am separating, but they do not know why.  I have told the pastor I am gay, but no one else at the church knows.  I am not in a hurry to come out to these people.  Not that I give a shit what these people think about me, K really needs this job and I am sure many of them would try to punish her.

As you might guess, as a gay man in the process of coming out, I am not really comfortable with these churchy people.  I can generally, deal with being there on Sunday morning.  It's only an hour.  This week, I have been there for three and a half hours, 5 days in a row.  That is not a lot of fun.

While I have never been a church going, I think the sense of community that I observed others experience.  I really think that if I could find a church like that, I would enjoy going and being part of the community.   

There are several churches, in the area that are open and affirming to gay couples.  I have often thought I would like to find a church home with T.  We would go together as a couple.  As a family.

One day.


JustAMike said...

I'm not a church goer either but I love: "We would go together as a couple. As a family." (LOVE this statement!)

Anonymous said...

That seems like a good plan if T is a church goer kind.
I've been trying to convince my other half to join us on Sundays the last 3 years and well it's useless. But still I like the idea, doing things as a family!

Anonymous said...

We go to Middle Collegiate Church in NY which has at least one gay pastor. T is Catholic and horrified by the length of their service so life is never perfect :)

Java said...

I used to be a churchy person. Then I embraced "The Gay" and now I can't stand to be around those people. I wouldn't be able to spend every evening at VBS for a week. I used to do it every summer. Not now.

Adam said...

I'm a pastor in the United Church of Christ (UCC) denomination. Each of our congregations has their own personality and sense of openness, but many are warmly welcoming of gay and bi persons/families as well as straight. Some of our churches have gay clergy too. I've known some Episcopal churches to be very open as well. It can be great for kids to know their gay parents are welcomed and accepted too. I hope you find a church community that is right for you. There are closed-minded churches just as there are small-minded people. But there are also churches where there is warmth and grace.