A while back I wrote about how I sometimes have problems sleeping. Sometimes I have trouble falling asleep and other times I have problem staying asleep. I have a prescription sleep aid, but I am afraid to take it.
I think part of my problem is my less than stellar physical fitness state. I think that if I lost a couple of pounds and spent a little more time on the treadmill, it might get better on it's own. K thinks I need to talk to someone. She thinks I have stress. She has noticed that the start of my problems matched up with the time she has decided to move out and get engaged to AJ.
I thought about that a little and I am not really sure she is right. I don't have a lot of stress about her being with AJ. I really don't. She has proven to me that we really are best friends and she will not stop being that when she is married to AJ. When she moves out, things will be different for me, but I think it will be different in a mostly good way.
There is a place where I do have some stress. The kids. The kids will move with K. I know K would not ever try to keep the kids from me. More than that, I know I will have unfettered access to them anytime I want it. (I know your divorce did not work that way, but mine is going to.) But all that said, I will go from having constant contact with my kids to something else.
Every night I hug and kiss my daughter when I tuck her into bed. With the exception of the one or two nights I am out with T, I do this without fail. Once they kids move, I will do that less. Maybe only once or twice a week.
K had told me that if I wanted to, I can be there every day from the time I get out of work until I go to bed. On some days I will take her up on that offer, but I doubt I will do it every night. Despite her assurances that AJ was on board, I would not be surprised if he tired of having me at his house all the time. Of course, I really don't give a shit what he thinks. He sure as shit is not going to keep me from my kids. What's more, I am confident K would not allow that either.
Is that stress causing my sleeplessness? I don't really think so, but I can't rule it out. Tonight I am totally exhausted. I am going to have a couple of beers and that will help me relax.
Then I am going climb into my bed and look forward to tomorrow night when I will go visit T after work and spend the evening with him.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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