On Saturday, me and the kids met T for dinner and a movie. As T noted in his blog, the kids were completely normal to him and to me. I was pretty happy about that.
On Sunday morning on the way to church, my oldest son and I talked about the previous night. He told me it was clear that T likes me. Later that same day, he suggested that T and I should get a house on a near by lake.
My middle son who was very upset when we told him seemed to be fine the next day. K said she will wait several days and then talk to him to find out where his head is.
My youngest son was pretty cool too. He did has not mentioned it again, but I have noticed that he has been a little more clingy than usual over the past several days.
Now I have to talk to my daughter. I have debated if I need to talk to her at all. It is possible that she will pick up what she needs kind of through osmosis. My relationship with T will simply be a fact up life for her. I am, however, leaning toward talking to her about it. I think that I just need to put a bookend on this and call it done.
9 comments:
Jim, I am so happy for you. Your family will love you no matter what your sexuality. You are their father and that's all that matters to them in the end. Congratulations on taking another step along your journey on a path that many of us share. Big hugs!
Mike
The truth, while sometimes painful, is always the best. And the fact you told them rather than have them find out some other way, will carry a lot of weight. Kids are more understanding and resilient than we give them credit for. You don't say how old your kids are (or if you did, I missed it). Mine are grown and accept their dad and his partner. However, I found out one had suspected for over a decade his dad was gay, and that's an awful burden for anyone to bear.
Just love them and don't do anything to screw it up (like crazy one-night stands with strangers or getting drunk and forgetting the condom). My kids accept gay; they don't accept stupid, reckless whoring.
Hmmm... Reckless whoring? I'll have to think about that. I guess T might have a problem with that too...
Everyone is a potential whore, whether they act it out or not. Who's to judge...Grrr
Whoring around or not, and crazy one-night stands, aren't the kids' business, no matter how old they are. And anyone who has read Jim's blog for any length of time would know a comment like that is unnecessary.
Yes, Anonymous. I agree with you. While I feel for Maggie for whatever she went through with her husband, I don't think she should use her bitterness to squak out on gay people. There are gay people who "whore" around. There are straight people who whore around.
If we keep making stupid generalization and assumptions, then here's mine: Since there are more straight people than gay people in the world, there are more straight men who whore around than gay men who whore around. And since straight men who whore around need straight women who whore around to whore around with, there are more straight women who whore around than gay men who whore around.
So, do we see how stupid this is, Maggie?
And to say that your son must have carried a burden suspecting his dad was gay...??? Give me a break. I have seen a lot of gay dads who are far better than any straight dad. Jim is a great dad. If your husband wasn't a good dad, the problem was he as a person, not as a gay person.
Not cool!
Maggie should speak for herself, but I don't think she intended to diss Jim by that remark. I think her point is that 'reckless whoring' is not a good precedent to set .... whomever it comes from.
Don't get your underwear in a knot, guys. You are being too defensive.
Suddenly, people are Mother Teresa or Pope John Paul. If people want to whore around, that's their business. What does that have to do with being gay or straight or bi? That's my point. If you say just being gay is an awful burden to someone else or associates with "whoring" around, don't expect people just to shut up about it. I respect straight, bi, gay...people. How would you feel if I say the reason you don't whore around is because you just can't get it? Isn't that just moronic? Everyone can have his/her own opinion. This is mine.
Funny how comments on this great news shifted off into a discussion of whoring due to Maggie's needless comment. Whatever. This seems like tremendously good news, that you did it and that they seem to have taken it in stride. It occurs to me that kids want their parents to be happy! Interesting to see how your relationship with them evolves, along and with T.
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