I have two really big things I need do to. Both are very important and both will take a long time.
I have to lose a bunch of weight.
About 4 years ago I had lost about 50 pounds. I still had about 20 pounds left to lose when I reached my lowest weight, but over the past few years I have put all of that weight back on. (Yes, I really am too fat to be gay.) I know exactly what to do to lose weight. I know it is a bug commitment and I know it will be a long hard slog back to fitness, but I know I have to do it. But it is so hard to get started. It is so nice to eat yummy things and then say I will go to the gym tomorrow. I know it is the wrong thing to do but I do it anyway.
I will start eating better tomorrow.
The other thing I need to do is learn some Vietnamese. T's family do not speak a lot of English in their house. Especially when his parents are there. When I was there, his mother went out of her way to make conversation with me in English. I recognize that was an effort for her.
A long time ago, I asked for, and T bought me the level one Rosetta Stone program for Vietnamese. I started to go through the program, but then I stopped. I should work on it a little every night. I get distracted by other thing at home. The kids. Something on TV. Household chores. There is always something. When I think about going back to it, it's always when I am can do anything. For example, when I am in the car driving to T's house. Or on my way home from his house.
I know it is something that I have to do. I know it will be hard, but I am procrastinating.
Just like talking to the kids. It will be hard. It will be high risk. And I am procrastinating on that too.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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