I have two really big things I need do to. Both are very important and both will take a long time.
I have to lose a bunch of weight.
About 4 years ago I had lost about 50 pounds. I still had about 20 pounds left to lose when I reached my lowest weight, but over the past few years I have put all of that weight back on. (Yes, I really am too fat to be gay.) I know exactly what to do to lose weight. I know it is a bug commitment and I know it will be a long hard slog back to fitness, but I know I have to do it. But it is so hard to get started. It is so nice to eat yummy things and then say I will go to the gym tomorrow. I know it is the wrong thing to do but I do it anyway.
I will start eating better tomorrow.
The other thing I need to do is learn some Vietnamese. T's family do not speak a lot of English in their house. Especially when his parents are there. When I was there, his mother went out of her way to make conversation with me in English. I recognize that was an effort for her.
A long time ago, I asked for, and T bought me the level one Rosetta Stone program for Vietnamese. I started to go through the program, but then I stopped. I should work on it a little every night. I get distracted by other thing at home. The kids. Something on TV. Household chores. There is always something. When I think about going back to it, it's always when I am can do anything. For example, when I am in the car driving to T's house. Or on my way home from his house.
I know it is something that I have to do. I know it will be hard, but I am procrastinating.
Just like talking to the kids. It will be hard. It will be high risk. And I am procrastinating on that too.
It is a serious character flaw I need to fix.
Now, I'm going to bed... or maybe later.
3 comments:
Jim,
I am struck by the number of times you write, "it will be hard". Why not just try and see, suspending your prior judgment? In my experience, things are *never* as "hard" as I create them to be.
Instead, think, "I know it will be fun!" and try that.
However you think about it, it comes true.
Uhh, before I was a gay guy - there I was - blissful with my roasts and gravies. It turns out that the guy I married goes to the gym 5 times a week.
I never asked. It never occurred to me. So now I'm at 3 times a week, 5:40am. Weight down to 155. You will get there. :) Ron
Procrastination is like a disease, imho. Some people have it, some don't. To those who don't, they can't understand what the problem is. To those who do, they can't understand how there couldn't be this problem. I don't have anything more enlightening to say than that, and that I enjoyed your post, which has that bit of humor that we need to deal w/such things.
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