Wednesday, July 13, 2011


I have two really big things I need do to.  Both are very important and both will take a long time. 

I have to lose a bunch of weight.  

About 4 years ago I had lost about 50 pounds.  I still had about 20 pounds left to lose when I reached my lowest weight, but over the past few years I have put all of that weight back on.  (Yes, I really am too fat to be gay.)  I know exactly what to do to lose weight.  I know it is a bug commitment and I know it will be a long hard slog back to fitness, but I know I have to do it.  But it is so hard to get started.  It is so nice to eat yummy things and then say I will go to the gym tomorrow.  I know it is the wrong thing to do but I do it anyway.

I will start eating better tomorrow.

The other thing I need to do is learn some Vietnamese.  T's family do not speak a lot of English in their house.  Especially when his parents are there.   When I was there, his mother went out of her way to make conversation with me in English.  I recognize that was an effort for her.

A long time ago, I asked for, and T bought me the level one Rosetta Stone program for Vietnamese.  I started to go through the program, but then I stopped.  I should work on it a little every night.  I get distracted by other thing at home.  The kids.  Something on TV.  Household chores.  There is always something.  When I think about going back to it, it's always when I am can do anything.  For example, when I am in the car driving to T's house.  Or on my way home from his house.

I know it is something that I have to do.  I know it will be hard, but I am procrastinating.

Just like talking to the kids.  It will be hard.  It will be high risk.  And I am procrastinating on that too.

It is a serious character flaw I need to fix.

Now, I'm going to bed... or maybe later.


BadgerBear said...


I am struck by the number of times you write, "it will be hard". Why not just try and see, suspending your prior judgment? In my experience, things are *never* as "hard" as I create them to be.

Instead, think, "I know it will be fun!" and try that.

However you think about it, it comes true.

Anonymous said...

Uhh, before I was a gay guy - there I was - blissful with my roasts and gravies. It turns out that the guy I married goes to the gym 5 times a week.

I never asked. It never occurred to me. So now I'm at 3 times a week, 5:40am. Weight down to 155. You will get there. :) Ron

Jason_M said...

Procrastination is like a disease, imho. Some people have it, some don't. To those who don't, they can't understand what the problem is. To those who do, they can't understand how there couldn't be this problem. I don't have anything more enlightening to say than that, and that I enjoyed your post, which has that bit of humor that we need to deal w/such things.