I go through phases.
Sometimes I crave being with other people. I feel so alone that I just need to go where there are people how like me. It's can't just be any people. Going to a mall alone, would make it worse. I have to go where people know me.
Other times I just want to be with the people who are closest to me. The people who really know me. The people I feel safe with. That could be K & and kids. Or it could be me and T alone.
But there are times, when I don't want to be with anyone. I want to be alone. With no one else in sight. I don't want to hear anyone else talk. I don't want to look at anyone else. I just want to be by myself. It happens to me a lot.
I frequently eat lunch alone. I know people who hate eating alone, but sometimes I prefer it. I have no problem waking into a restaurant and saying, "It's just me." to the perky chick at the front door. (Why is it always a girl with perky tits?) Sometimes I bring something to read or work on. Sometimes I read the news on my Blackberry. Sometimes I just think. I reflect on the day. I think about work or others things going on in my life.
Today is not one of those days.
Today is the second kind of day. I have been home helping with the kids and doing stuff so K is not stressed out as much about her friend and the talk they are going to have to have soon, maybe tonight. The kids have not always been cooperative and I am a little frustrated. K and her friend are probably going to go out tonight and leave me alone with the kids.
I want to be with T. I want to go somewhere, anywhere with him. I miss him very much. I wish that her would come here, but he can't tonight. He has another obligation that I understand, but I miss him anyway. I know he misses me too and he would rather be here than doing what he is doing.
Wednesday Morning Male Beauty - Pt 1
7 minutes ago