Saturday, May 29, 2010

I Need A Little Me and You Time

I go through phases.


Sometimes I crave being with other people.  I feel so alone that I just need to go where there are people how like me.  It's can't just be any people.  Going to a mall alone, would make it worse.  I have to go where people know me.


Other times I just want to be with the people who are closest to me. The people who really know me.  The people I feel safe with.  That could be K & and kids.  Or it could be me and T alone.


But there are times, when I don't want to be with anyone.  I want to be alone.  With no one else in sight. I don't want to hear anyone else talk.  I don't want to look at anyone else.  I just want to be by myself.  It happens to me a lot.


I frequently eat lunch alone.  I know people who hate eating alone, but sometimes I prefer it.  I have no problem waking into a restaurant and saying, "It's just me." to the perky chick at the front door.  (Why is it always a girl with perky tits?)  Sometimes I bring something to read or work on.  Sometimes I read the news on my Blackberry.  Sometimes I just think.  I reflect on the day.  I think about work or others things going on in my life.  


Today is not one of those days.


Today is the second kind of day.  I have been home helping with the kids and doing stuff so K is not stressed out as much about her friend and the talk they are going to have to have soon, maybe tonight.  The kids have not always been cooperative and I am a little frustrated.  K and her friend are probably going to go out tonight and leave me alone with the kids.


I want to be with T.  I want to go somewhere, anywhere with him.  I miss him very much. I wish that her would come here, but he can't tonight.  He has another obligation that I understand, but I miss him anyway.  I know he misses me too and he would rather be here than doing what he is doing.


Oh well.



1 comment:

Rusty said...

When I enter a restaurant alone and the jail-bait hostess says, "Is it just you?" I want to scream, "No, it's not 'just me,' it's ME!!!"

Just me. Who does she thinks she's talking to?